knowledge is power
What even is menopause? I am still learning. Quite literally it means a full year without a menstrual period. But it’s also a catch all for all things associated with the major changes cisgender women (note, I’m not familiar with the journey of trans men, but will work to learn more) go through during this second half of life. It’s basically puberty 2.0.
Less than a year ago I was living my seemingly normal (well minus the cancer recurrence, that is) almost 40 year old existence with no idea that I was already experiencing symptoms of perimenopause (the transition leading up to menopause). My hormones had been changing but because the manifestation was what I considered par for the course for having a full time job, two kids and activities starting to ramp back up, I thought no big deal. Constant fatigue, handling stress a little different and not being able to enjoy that glass of wine quite the same way, were all things that were starting to be the focus of light cocktail party jokes anyway.
The problem is that putting the words “menopause transition,” or “perimenopause,” on these seemingly small changes would have freaked me out. It felt WAY too early for that. Yet I was also frustrated that the shifts I was making to nail all things mommy, partner, health and work related weren’t always panning out the way I expected them to.
This led to a deep sense of under-fulfillment in all the areas I was trying to tweak but I couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t until about four years that I accepted the importance of mental health and starting visiting a therapist. Note, I fully recognize that so many woman do not have the time or resources to do this, so am sensitive to that. However my therapy sessions have been a lifeline and a huge unlock to learning that my super negative internal dialogue is also closely related to my hormonal changes. Perimenopause—not because I was a complete failure.
This was liberating.
I’m still actively working on the right way to address this for myself. A couple of my outlets are yoga, taking walks, prioritizing intentional and specific connections with my loved ones, and adopting a gratitude practice. One new outlet is this blog and the hope for having more conversations about the menopause transition.
The more we know and access the right language and implications, the better choices we can make for ourselves.
