Oh sleep, how i miss you!
I didn’t realize how much hormones helped manage sleep until I basically stopped getting any. It turns out they matter a lot. To be fair, my sleep cycle has had its share of ups and downs since becoming a mom, as I was taking care of the constantly changing needs of little people. But in the past, once my head hit the pillow, I was out cold.
All of that has changed.
If I’m not waking up because I feel like I’m on fire (hellooo hot flashes!), it’s because my body just decides it’s time to wake up—Every. Two. Hours.
In the Menopause Manifesto, Dr. Jen Gunter talks about the link between menopause and sleep:
“Areas of the brain that are influenced by estrogen and progesterone are also important in sleep regulation, and fluctuations in hormones during the menstrual cycle are known to affect sleep patterns. …In addition to these hormonal effects, there are vasamotor symptoms (hot flushes and night sweats) and depression—both of which are menopause-related and can affect sleep. And at the same time as a woman is going through her menopause transition she is also aging, and age negatively affects sleep.”
Some nights I’ll hear the most random sounds then remember I should read a boring book when I have a hard time falling back to sleep. But then I go down a rabbit hole trying to figure out if I even have a boring book. Then I think, where would I find a boring book? Then I remember I have to clean up my office. Other times I’ll wake up thinking about the dream I just had. It’s like I have to fully interpret its meaning before I fall back to sleep. Before appointments, I anticipate having to be up so find myself peeking at the clock every 43 minutes.
There are times when I find myself in some weird math equation because I’m trying to remember what time I fell asleep, how long I’ve been sleeping, how many more hours I have left to sleep, what does it mean for the total amount of hours I’ll get tonight, how many nights a week has this happened, how many hours has my husband gotten, how many more hours has he gotten than me, what time do I have to wake up again?
The best (read: worst) is when I have to pee. At least on those nights, I know I killed my water intake goal for the day. But even though I bask in my win of staying hydrated, getting out of bed to pee hits the reset button on my sleepless cycle: meandering thoughts, peaking at the clock every 43 minutes, hot flashes, counting sheep, pee, repeat...
It’s ridiculous.
When this first started to happen, I frantically emailed my oncologist and boldly declared: THIS WILL NOT WORK! I need help!
They have certainly tried. I’ve been given recommendations for a low dose anti-depressant that has a nice side effect of helping calm hot flashes at night. I’ve been recommended a low dose of a neuropathy medication given side effects from the other drugs I’m taking. I’ve tried melatonin drinks, the CALM app, nighttime sleepy tea, THC gummies, taking baths to calm my nerves, meditation, nighttime yoga, using a fan, setting a sleep timer on my phone, etc.
Some things have worked but I’m finding it really depends on the night. I don’t have a go to solution yet but will keep working towards one while figuring out the tradeoffs that work best for me. I’m hopeful that my sleep will get better as I work through more techniques to get consistent shut eye.
I know I’m not alone in this. In “What Fresh Hell is This?” Heather Corinna does a fabulous job outlining the many techniques she’s tried to get good sleep. It’s a journey! She talks about Menopause Hormone Therapy or MHT as an approach that can work for some women (not necessarily for me and my post cancer sisters) who deal with hot flashes. Then Dr. Jen Gunter also explains Cognitive Behavorial Therapy or CBT in the Menopause Manifesto and the specific benefits it can have when related to insomnia.
As with most things, I’m open to suggestions. :)
Remember the solutions I mentioned above are not recommendations but rather what I’ve learned or has become a part of my specific medical/personal path. Any questions about any of the drugs or treatments I allude to need to be addressed with your doctor.
