A new bloom…

This isn’t completely untrue.

With cancer treatment, the goal is to kill the cancer and prevent it from coming back. This is a wonderful goal but I wasn’t prepared for some of the quality of life changes one month after starting ovarian suppression treatment. When I was told (sensitively), “we’re just going to have to push you into menopause” following my recurrence, I didn’t realize how much weight the “just” carried.

I now understand that I didn’t do enough research going into the journey and should have had my friend on speed dial before starting my first Zoladex injection.

But here I am.

Note, the side effects of cancer treatment can make the menopause transition symptoms more extreme so this doesn’t apply to everyone but having “all systems go” to “closed for maintenance” has been a huge pendulum swing.

When I began to experience physical changes following the start of my medical treatments, I was honing in all the scary (and real) things that can happen during the menopause transition—like GUSM (Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause), the potential for vaginal atrophy, increased dryness, decreased elasticity, and that thinning vaginal skin can cause pain during sex. It was all freaking me out.

However after reading chapter 15 of the Menopause Manifesto, by Dr. Jen Gunter, I’m feeling a lot more hopeful. She does an amazing job talking about how the menopause journey (and other social factors) play a role in decreases in desire related to intimacy and sex. While it was initially challenging for me to digest that a lot of these changes were happening with me, it has been reassuring to learn that menopause and aging does not mean the end of pleasurable sex.

There are both medical and non-medical options for increasing desire. Here are a couple of things Dr. Gunter recommends in the Menopause Manifesto: curiosity towards trying new things, destigmatizing the fact that intimacy should be prioritized, and adopting a mindfulness practice towards sex.

I highly recommend picking up her book.

I now have a growing drawer of great vaginal moisturizers (Womaness Cocobliss is amazing), lubricants and supplements. Our Kindra has a menopause essentials box with a ton of goodies as well that just arrived. I haven’t tried them all yet but they give me a little something to look forward to because it means prioritizing intimacy (alone and with my partner).

I haven’t magically become some sex goddess, but I’m starting to think about new ways to approach foreplay, playing by different rules and my view of intimacy is expanding.

I’m pretty shy about talking about the details of sex, but listening to and reading about some of the different tactics women are taking to continue to expand upon what it means to experience physical pleasure has been helpful, led to a few more “O’s” and dare I say is becoming one of the funner elements of being pushed into menopause suddenly.