Why Am I even doing this?
Aside from wanting to share all the new products I’m trying out and the selfish motivation to learn about how other women are dealing/have dealt with this change, I vacillate between being completely charged up to talk about every new symptom, life stage concept or inspiring quote I read about the menopause journey to completely tossing my journal out the window.
I mean these are just my personal thoughts and thousands of women become menopausal everyday. Why is it so important that I share my thoughts? Maybe it’s not. Only a handful of my friends and family are starting to experience perimenopausal changes, so initiating a conversation about the menopause journey seems a bit irrelevant and like one of my latest passion topics that will soon taper down.
However, I’ve found that in the last couple of months it’s unlocked yet another treasure in my relationship with my mom.
I was listening to The Black Girl’s Guide to Menopause earlier today and realized that when Omisade Burney-Scott and Satana Deberry were talking about wanting to rewind time and talk to their moms about the journey they went through—but at their current age—it became so clear to me that despite the frustration I experience everyday with all of the changes my body is going through, that I am so blessed to be able to talk to my mom in real time about this experience.
Yes, I’m 40 and I’d love it if I could push off menopause for the decade it’s supposed to take, but I can’t. The gap between her experience and mine has shrunk and my mom has been an incredible resource for me. She’s admitted that she previously only talked about a few symptoms the change but her perspective and our recent conversations have been so emotional and rich. I’m so grateful for them.
On the flip side, I think about my seven year old daughter who will also go through this process. Our gap has expanded but I’m hoping this time of reflection, clarity and cataloging my emotions will serve as a time capsule for her. I hope she come back to some of my more raw emotions when I may be in a different stage.
